


not completely stupid

by a financial diuretic (Shame_Account)



Series: i've seen 2 whole episodes of Suits don't ask me how lawyering works [8]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boss/Employee Relationship, Consent Issues, Friendship, M/M, Protectiveness, Trans Alex, Trans Male Character, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 13:06:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6659257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shame_Account/pseuds/a%20financial%20diuretic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex presses onward, determined: he's been rehearsing this. "It's not like he pressured me into anything; he's super freaked out about the fact that I work for him–"</p><p>"He <em>should</em> be! <em>You</em> should be!"</p><p>"I would be if he <em>wasn't</em>! I'm taking precautions, okay?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, warnings:
> 
> I just want to let you all know up front that the way I am writing Wash, he is never going to threaten Alex or do anything to try to manipulate him, and he is genuinely Not Happy about the fact that he is Alex's boss. That said, this is still a super fucked up situation. Alex really did want what happened to happen but he also wasn't really in a position to meaningfully consent, and this fic directly acknowledges that. In the form of a very angry John Laurens.
> 
> p much the alternate summary of this fic could be "shit did i write dubcon? i fucking wrote dubcon didn't i. fuuuuuuuuuu-"
> 
> Also, I'm going to start tagging Boss/Employee Relationship instead of Power Imbalance? I was basically using that tag as a warning but I think the B/E R tag probably gets the message across without running the risk of disappointing people who are searching the Power Imbalance tag, idk

[6:30 pm] I may not be home tonight. not doing anything dangerous.

_**[6:30 pm] I know you think that sounds reassuring but it does not where are you** _

[6:30 pm] office

_**[6:30 pm] working late?** _

[6:30 pm] no. everything is fine i'll explain later

_**[6:31 pm] explain now** _

_**[6:38 pm] alex talk to me** _

[6:38 pm] everything is fine and there's nothing to explain yet, if that changes you will be the first to know.

[6:39 pm] technically the third to know but still

_**[6:40 pm] please put yourself in my shoes and imagine that you are the one receiving your own texts from me. how alarmed would you be bc whatever your answer is i am twice that amount of alarmed** _

[6:40 pm] i will explain, okay? i just wanted to let you know if i don't come home tonight and you don't hear from me for a few hours it doesn't mean i'm dead.

_**[6:41 pm] whatever you're doing please be careful** _

[6:41 pm] always. gtg

* * *

[8:23 pm] okay i am fully aware you are going to yell at me for this but:

[8:23 pm] you know the crush i've been trying to convince you i don't have on my boss?

_**[8:23 pm] ALEXANDER HAMILTON WHAT DID YOU DO** _

[8:23 pm] we may have had sex, everything is fine, he is not a creep, i know you're going to keep yelling but i am just throwing that out there: He Is Not A Creep

_**[8:24 pm] HE IS S U C H A CREEP. YOU ARE HIS EMPLOYEE AND HE HAD SEX WITH YOU HE IS A C R E E P.** _

[8:24 pm] it was my idea

_**[8:24 pm] THAT DOESNT MAKE IT BETTER** _

_**[8:24 pm] WHERE ARE YOU AND DO YOU NEED ME TO COME GET YOU** _

[8:24 pm] i'm at his place and no i'm staying the night

[8:24 pm] on the couch! i am staying the night on the couch ok

[8:24 pm] thank u tho

_**[8:25 pm] YOURE SLEEPING AT HIS PLACE** _

[8:25 pm] coming back early in the morning to change. i brought clothes with me to wear back tho, i have Learned

_**[8:25 pm] A L E X A N D E R** _

_**[8:25 pm] WHAT IN THE FUCK** _

_**[8:25 pm] HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN, HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE??** _

_**[8:26 pm] I'M GOING TO KILL YOU** _

_**[8:26 pm] NO I'M GOING TO KILL HIM** _

_**[8:26 pm] HE IS YOUR B O S S** _

_**[8:27 pm] FUCK YOU, SAY SOMETHING** _

[8:27 pm] can we have the rest of this conversation tomorrow, in person. i need sleep

 _**[8:27 pm] yeah bc you're definitely going to bed at 8 fucking 30 Fuck You you just want me to shut up** _  

_**[8:33 pm] please just tell me you're okay** _

[8:33 pm] I'm okay. I'll see you tomorrow.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The problem with going home so early in the morning is that he and John work basically the same hours, which means John won't have left yet, and Alex would really love to put off their conversation until the end of the day. Maybe he can talk him into granting that much of a reprieve.

That hope lasts right up until he opens the apartment door, whereupon John drags him inside by both shoulders, kicks the door shut, and shouts in his face: "YOUR _FUCKING BOSS_ , ALEX, SERIOUSLY?"

Alex winces. "Could you maybe not yell that? I don't think our neighbors need–"

"Fuck the neighbors! Your _boss_!"

John doesn't so much let go of him as shove him away, backs off and starts pacing, which usually means he wants to hit something and isn't going to let himself. Alex leans back against the door and says nothing, just watches him pace. Notes belatedly that he's still wearing pajamas. They're covered in little turtles.

Finally John stops, leans against the kitchen sink and doesn't look at him: "I'm good. You can talk."

"I'm not a complete idiot, okay? I took pepper spray. If this keeps happening–"

John looks up sharply, takes two steps towards him and then stops himself. "If this _keeps happening_?"

" _If_ this keeps happening," Alex repeats firmly, "I will keep taking the pepper spray."

John throws his hands up in the air. "So your solution to this situation is to keep having sex with someone you can never completely trust!"

"I don't completely trust anyone, present company excluded, and excluding myself from that exclusion."

" _Fuck you_ ," John hisses, jabbing a finger at him from across the room. "You don't get to throw that at me when I'm trying to yell at you for making terrible decisions!"

Alex presses onward, determined: he's been rehearsing this. "It's not like he pressured me into anything; he's super freaked out about the fact that I work for him–"

"He _should_ be! _You_ should be!"

"I would be if he _wasn't_! I'm taking precautions, okay?"

"Pepper spray is not a fucking precaution against getting _fired_ , or _blackmailed_ , or whatever the hell else he might decide to do to you!"

"No." Alex takes a breath. Clutches his phone inside his jacket pocket. "That's what the hour of audio on my phone is for."

John freezes. " _Alex_."

"I left it recording from an outer pocket of my bag the whole time," Alex says quietly. "About killed the battery but it was worth it. I listened to it last night after he went to bed - headphones, obviously - just to - just to make sure it worked, and it - it got. Enough."

John shuts his eyes, drags a hand down his face. "What's your plan?"

Alex shrugs. "Hold onto the recording and hope I don't need it."

"Jesus. _Jesus_ , Alex, fucking _Christ_ - _"_

"It went fine," Alex interrupts loudly, irritated. "For the record."

"I don't want to _know_!"

Alex makes a face. "Gross, no, I'm not offering you _details_. I mean, like. I didn't even bring up the whole boss-employee angle, I was waiting to see if he would, and he did."

"And what was your plan if he didn't?"

"To get enough audio–"

John takes a step back, eyes wide. " _Alex–_ "

"–of us _talking_ ," Alex continues over him, "and then I would have bailed! But he did bring it up, he made sure I knew this wouldn't impact my career–"

"HA."

"– _which_ is all on the _recording_! All of it, everything we said, everything _he_ said, everything we – I am _covered_ if this goes south, okay? And I mean I don't even think it will, and I'm – I'm – _me_."

John is just – just _looking_ at him, eyes still wide, one hand pressed over his mouth. Alex doesn't know what that _means_ , doesn't know if it's pity or anger or exasperation but whatever it is it's rubbing him entirely the wrong way.

He rocks back on his heels, folds his arms. "It wasn't just that, either. I had – kind of a dysphoric, anxiety..." He gestures vaguely at nothing. "... _thing_ , and he talked me down from it, said all the right shit."

John's eyes narrow and Alex suddenly knows what he's going to ask:

"Were you faking it?"

"No!"

" _Alex_."

"I – might have exaggerated. Slightly. But no, it was real. He... handled it well. He's a good guy!"

John's mouth actually drops open. "Please listen to yourself, _please_ , just – you took pepper spray to work, you secretly recorded him, you secretly _tested_ him, _twice_ , those are not things you do because you think someone's a _good_ _guy_!"

And Alex just –

– forgets everything else he's planned on saying, forgets all the reasons he was going to lay out for John, explaining why this is _perfectly fine_ , the same reasons he laid out for George last night: it's a small law firm, there aren't huge piles of money at stake; he forgets the rest of his carefully outlined argument and just –

explodes.

"Well which is it, John?" he demands, crossing the distance between them and poking him hard in the chest. "Am I an _idiot_ for having sex with my boss, who I could tell was _interested_ and who doesn't have a fucking HR department to answer to, or am I an idiot for making sure I have a fucking safety net in case he turns out to be an asshole? How about you _fuck off_ and get back to me when you've decided exactly what it is I've done wrong!"

John takes a step back, expression unreadable. "You are," he says. "You _are_ freaked out about this."

"Of course I'm freaked out!" No, no no, stop talking, Alex, stop – "He's my _fucking boss_!"

"Alex," John says quietly. "Look at me. Did you actually want –"

" _Yes_ ," Alex says quickly. "Yes, fuck, that wasn't– I didn't mean– he hasn't threatened me, he didn't coerce me, I had every opportunity to back out–"

"And no way of knowing if he'd let you! You weren't in a position to say no!"

"I did not _want_ ," Alex snaps, "to say _no_."

"That doesn't matter!" John reaches up like he's going to grab him again and then aborts the movement, runs a hand agitatedly through his own hair. "He shouldn't have given you anything to say no _to_!"

"I'm the one who actually initiated it–"

"Then he should have turned you down!"

Alex opens his mouth and –

– and can't think of a single rebuttal to that.

John snorts, shakes his head. "You know what, you're right, though."

" _What_?"

"Getting that recording sounds like the smartest decision you've made in the past 24 hours."

" _Fuck_ you, fuck my _life_ ," Alex growls, and moves past him to collapse wearily on his own bed, head in hands.

"Alex–"

"Can we just," Alex says quietly, without looking up. "Can we just leave it? Until later? I had sex with someone I'm attracted to, someone I've been flirting with for weeks without realizing it, this is not an unusual situation for me to be in, he just _happens_ to also be _my_ _boss_ this time, which I am – fine with in theory but not completely stupid about in reality. Can we just leave it at that for now? I have to –" He bites down on a laugh. "I have to go to _work_. We both have to go to work."

There is a beat of silence.

And then John sits next to him on the bed, wraps an arm around him, and Alex leans in despite himself.

"If this goes sideways," John says quietly, "you know I'm gonna be in your corner, right?"

Alex swallows. "Yeah."

"Promise me, _swear to me_ , you'll tell me if you need help."

"I swear."

John stands up. Takes a deep breath, exhales slowly. "Okay," he says calmly, and offers Alex a hand. "Let's go to work."

Alex accepts the hand, and then a hug, and then they both just... get ready.

Like normal.

Except quieter.

Inwardly, Alex groans: today is going to be _so_ _weird_.


End file.
